How To Give Feedback and Lose Your “But”

The agreement frame is a much more gentle way to give feedback.  Typically, when giving feedback, people will say something like this: “I really think that you did a great job on the West project, John.  But really I need you to do is be more punctual.”  The word “but” negates everything that was said before it, so the person feels slighted when you are done.  Instead, try not to use the word “but” and the feedback will sound much more sincere and will likely be better received.  For example, you might say, “I really think you did a great job on the West project, John.  Congratulations and one way you can increase your impact by another twenty percent with the West account is to show up ten minutes earlier.  What do you think?

Some phrases to try out:

  1. I appreciate, and…
  2. I respect, and…
  3. I agree, and…
  4. Avoid using “but” and “understand”

To learn other strategies for building rapport in the workplace, contact William Wood CHt at 801-203-3405 or william.wood@northernutahhypnosis.com. Visit me at www.northernutahhypnosis.com

I wrote this article for a continuing education class at www.modernjedi.com