Feeling Familiar

by | Apr 9, 2010

There is an old adage that people who like each tend to be like each other.  Years ago, when I was a teenager, I wanted really hard to assert my independence, so I started to dress differently than my parents.  I wore a jeans jacket and faded blue jeans with rips in the knees.  I wore my hair in a mullet, although I am embarrassed to admit it now.  One day, my mom came to visit my junior high school and she observed wisely, “Will I saw hundreds of kids all trying to look different in the same way.  They all wore jeans with ripped knees, all had jean jackets and the boys all had mullets.”  I was irritated with my mother, but she was absolutely right.  As a group, we were all just reaching the age where we were starting to assert our identity as a group—so we all started to match our clothing and dress patterns, we all started to use similar language to describe things, coining our own terms, such as “wicked, bad, and radical.”

I am sure that there are many lessons to be learned from this episode, but the most important one is this: at my junior high, we started to establish our identity through similarities.  If someone wanted to be part of our group, that person would have to wear a jean jacket, jeans with ripped knees and cut their hair into a mullet.  I suggest that the same holds true in business.  The clothes we wear, the language we use affects our feelings of “feeling familiar.”

Think about the last time you met someone at a social event.  Maybe you wanted to establish rapport.  How did you do it?  Most people try to find some kind of common background or content to start talking about a similar interest, therefore matching content.  Consider the findings of this research in context of building rapport:

Communication is seven percent words, 38 percent tonality and 55 percent physiology (Birdwhistle, “Kinesics and Communication”, University of Pennsylvania, 1970).

If being similar to the other person helps us build rapport, when building rapport in a social situation, why do we focus solely on finding similarity in  the words we speak, which represents seven percent of the meaning of our communication, and ignore the remaining ninety three percent of tonality and physiology?

To learn new long-term and short-term strategies to learn to connect with people at work and home contact William Wood CHt at 385-432-0729 or [email protected].  Visit me at www.northernutahhypnosis.com

I wrote this article as a part of a continuing education course I am taking at www.modernjedi.com

Written By William Wood

William Wood is a hypnotherapist, professional coach, and international trainer. Will has helped thousands of clients all over the United States, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, and Peru create powerful personal transformation. William sees clients in Ogden, Utah, and over Skype. If you would like to book a consultation with William, or invite him to speak at your next event, you can contact me here: [email protected] or 801-203-3405 (please leave a message)

Related Posts

Overcome Fear of Public Speaking with Hypnotherapy

Overcome Fear of Public Speaking with Hypnotherapy

Are you tired of your heart racing every time you need to speak in front of others?  Many people feel scared about public speaking (it’s one of the most common fears), but there's a solution that might fix your problem quickly! Hypnotherapy is a gentle way to...

Stress Relief Through Hypnotherapy: Unlock Your Calm Today

Stress Relief Through Hypnotherapy: Unlock Your Calm Today

Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed?  Imagine having a powerful tool that can help you relax deeply and take control of your life.  That's what hypnotherapy offers. You might think hypnotherapy is like what you see in movies – people clucking like...

Can Hypnotherapy Effectively Treat Depression?

Can Hypnotherapy Effectively Treat Depression?

Have you ever felt stuck in a cloud of sadness that just won't go away?  Hypnosis might be the answer you're looking for. Think of hypnotherapy as a gentle way to help your mind heal. It's like having a friendly guide to help you find new paths to feeling better....

Do You Want HElp?
Contact Us Now!

Contact me and I will answer you back within one business day (or earlier). You can text my assistant now for a quicker turn around time. Her name is Vicki Bowden and her number is 1-801-698-0752