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Between you and your goal—but completely encased in your mind—are walls.
There’s no going around them, and no matter how high they appear, you must summit them and land on your feet on the other side.
Psychological barriers keep us from moving to the next level of success until we properly learn to go over them, under them, through them, or destroy them completely.
Today is not about changing these walls; my goal is to help you identify them, examine them, and find where the footholds are so you can start the climb.
Wall #1: “The goal feels impossible.”
I had a client who was making $30,000 a year and truly believed it was impossible to make $100,000 in the market he was in. He believed he was stuck.
I had another client who believed it was impossible for her to break through the glass ceiling in her career, in a field dominated by men trying to hold her down. I’ve talked to teenagers who believed it was impossible to get a good internship or get into a good college because of their background or their family situation. I’ve met people who’ve had some kind of incredible loss—of a spouse, of a loved one, of an important relationship—and in that moment believed it was impossible to ever be happy again.
The first psychological wall that many people come up against is the wall of impossibility. Without going into great detail about how to solve it (because that is not the point of today’s podcast), what I recommend you do if you find yourself in that situation is to look for people who’ve been in the same or similar situation. People who have broken through the wall of impossibility and found a path to the other side. Study their path. Step where they stepped. Follow them to the other side of that wall.
Wall #2: “I don’t deserve it or I’m not worthy.”
There are lots of different ways to say this. I remember working with a woman once who said that because she had been divorced and she came from a community where that was frowned upon greatly, she did not deserve to find a happy relationship. In that moment of her life, she felt that literally she just didn’t deserve happiness, that she needed to be punished for her so-called transgressions.
I have met others who have made incredibly poor decisions in regards to their finances, business, relationships, parenting.
And they recovered.
The good news is that in the 21st century, between podcasts in YouTube and searching the internet, we can easily find the stories of people who have overcome the situation that each of us is in. So the psychological wall of deserving is something that can be changed, but if it’s something that you’re facing in regards to the goal that you’re going for right now, begin to look for powerful stories of people who have moved on. This is not the only way to get through, but it’s one of the easiest ways to start when you’re starting on your own.
Wall #3: “I’m not good enough.”
Let’s look back to one of the oldest stories in existence, from the book of Exodus, in which God appears to Moses. God says, “Moses, I want you to go talk to Pharaoh.”
Moses’ response was, essentially, “The most powerful leader of our time? I don’t speak so good. I’m not good enough for this job. How about my brother?”
We all have a self-defeating habit of comparing our weakest traits against other people’s strongest ones. The story of “I am not good enough” could be told by every member of the human race, and yet the powerful ones are the ones that stand up despite their weaknesses. They decide how to move forward, even though they are not good enough when they start, because they know we all have the ability to learn and to grow.
You have an inborn God-given talent, and when you reach down deep inside and find it, you can change the world. You don’t have to be good at everything, just find one thing you’re good at and pursue that strength. Seek your own divine gift and go out and conquer.
Wall #4: “I don’t want to embarrass myself.”
This wall goes by other names, too:
“I don’t want to make a mistake.”
“I have to have everything perfect before I start.”
“When I do something, I do it right, and I am not doing this until I have it exactly right.”
Well, I’ve got bad news: You are going to embarrass yourself. You’re not going to get it perfect, and if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll be waiting forever. So choose today to be good enough, and to do things wrong while you start. Embrace the mistakes you make starting out; they’re the surest sign that you’re moving forward and climbing walls toward greatness.
But if you never start, it’s impossible to get to good.
Take parenting: An important job, definitely worth doing it right. But most of us parent kind of badly in the beginning. We don’t anticipate all the everyday objects an infant can turn into a hazard. Nothing can prepare you for parenthood the way actual experience can.
The only way to be a painter is to paint; not just collect brushes. The only way to be a runner is to run, not just buy a pair of Nikes and a Fitbit. The only way to lead is to be a leader, not just collect inspirational quotes about leadership.
The only way to do is to do.
Wall #5: “People will judge me.”
Let me reassure you: Yes, people will judge you. People will question your qualifications. People will scoff at your aspirations.
So now that you know it will happen, you can stop worrying about it and face it!
Because if you stand up and you stand for something, before long, first there will be one. One person who believes in you. Then a second. Then ten. Then more who believe in you.
I’m one of them.
So be willing to stare down the wall of judgment. Ignore the haters standing idly along the path as you charge down it.
Wall #6: “I’m not qualified.”
This isn’t the same as “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not qualified” may mean you don’t have the right initials behind your name, you don’t have the book written, you don’t have the resume written, you don’t have the work history, you just don’t have the qualifications that you should have to go out and do what you do.
Now I’m not suggesting that you go out and try to perform brain surgery if you don’t have the right degree, but for most of us in our fields, we can either make the decision to become qualified, or we can simply stand up and start realizing that we don’t have to be the end all be all we don’t have to be the perfect one, we don’t have to be the one who has the most Ph D.’s behind his name, in order to influence someone for good.
Wall #7: “I’m not organized.”
This one shows up in two ways, one might be that you actually aren’t very organized. That means that you’re so disorganized that every time you try to get started, you trip over yourself, you can’t accept payments, organize your time, organize your files, etc. If you are chronically disorganized, you might need an assistant that can help you get those things in order.
But the other extreme is that some people spend so much time getting organized that they never pull the trigger and get started. They spend so much time sharpening the ax that they never get around to chopping down the tree.
For most of you, you don’t need to do have everything lined up to get started. Just start; organize along the way. Take action before everything is in order; you will get more done, you’ll reach more people, and you will accomplish much, much more. You don’t need an elaborate website; most of the time you don’t even need a business card. You just need a confident handshake, a friendly smile, and a willingness to show your clients what you’re capable of.
Wall #8: “I’m already taking action”
Maybe you’ve leapt those first seven walls with confidence. You’re trying, you’re ignoring the critics and haters, you’re confident in your worth and your qualifications, and you’re chasing that dream.
It feels like you’re running in place. You’re not getting the results you should based on the effort that you’re putting forth.
This is a case where the best fix is to hire a mentor. To be clear: Each of these psychological barriers can be overcome by finding a mentor or a coach. But when you really are taking action, sometimes you need someone to boost you over that last wall. Somebody who has climbed it themselves, and knows where the best footholds are to hoist yourself over the top.
Someone who knows the way
Find someone with more experience who has been down the same path that you’re facing. It helps if you’re trying to achieve a similar goal, but a mentor from sales still has valuable advice for you in your marketing goal. A writer who has climbed that final wall can still lend you a hand if you are a chef. The external skills may be unique, but the psychological walls are universal.
The short cut to prosperity is a mentor, and I would love to be that mentor to help you break through your own wall. When you’re ready for that breakthrough (and why wait?), give me a call at 801-203-3405 and tell me why you want help, and why it’s your time.
Leave me a voicemail, and if I hear the passion in your voice, if I hear your readiness to break through, we can begin the process of discovering If I am the right mentor to help you over your walls.